So when my partner is doing something focused on me, I can’t stop my thoughts. So I just end up cutting it early and switching to doing something I know he likes.
I realize now that’s a mistake. It taught my partner that I don’t want that attention - when the truth is that I do want it. But all those thoughts keep me from being able to relax and enjoy it.
I thought this was some weird thing just did. But these researchers from OMGYES, I.U. and Yale did interviews with thousands of women - and then found the patterns in their experiences.
And it turns out the majority of women struggle with the same distracting thoughts I do. OMGYES researchers also asked all these women if anything a partner did actually helped them get past those thoughts - and found the patterns in those, too. GOLD!
"Thoughts get in the way of sex for me.
Here's what happened when I showed my partner new research about what we could do about it:
I was a little scared it could hurt his ego and feel like I was saying, ‘you haven’t been doing things well enough.’ But because OMGYES is from new research findings that just came out, he said it wasn’t like that at all- it was like he was learning new stuff about me, and about women, and he was 100% down to help. No one knew this stuff before.
Seeing that the majority of women experienced things I did - it helped me feel it was normal stuff to bring up to him, too.
The site says over and over how some of these things won’t work for you and that’s ok - that it's the exploring and the curiosity that leads to closer relationships. So the pressure is off."
See how much more there is to discover about sex and intimacy, thanks to new research.
In partnership with I.U and Yale researchers